He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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