All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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