That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
