from now on my penis is your penis
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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