she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
