that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
