I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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