he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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