DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
