if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
