so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
