"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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