Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
