What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
