Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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