I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize