dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
