Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
