2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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