Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So squirting runs in the family.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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