I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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