question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
