you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
