went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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