This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
