im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
