Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
