Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
