well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
