I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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