my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
