I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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