everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
