maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
sex in a hospital.. check
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
