we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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