god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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