butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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