We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
