what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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