k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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