ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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