were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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