you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
