Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
