He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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