it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
