I've blown a few things in my day
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
