What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
