he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
