i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
