margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
