Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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