Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
