Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
pop tarts are not kleenex
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize