I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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