ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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